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Fall 7 Times; Get Up 8

So I’m back again…. Worse than when I left. In the 18 months since last posted I gained 25 lbs. The secret to gaining? Easy.

Stop exercising.

Eat whatever you want and don’t write any of it down.

Don’t drink water.

That will do it. So, when I saw 299 on the scale on Christmas morning, I said this has to stop. My new LIFE resolution is simple…
1. Drink at least 32 ounces of water, with goal of 64 ounces or more
2. Track foods on WW…even if they are not healthy choices, write the, down.
3. Move at least 20 minutes 5 days a week…. For now, increase goal later.

So, it has only been 4 days…but I have strung 4 good days in a row….I hadn’t even been able to have ONE good day the past year….and that failure would make me say “oh what the hell” and enjoy cookies, fries, etc.

My goal right now is just tiny…. Stay committed to these simple goals… There is no failure, there is just the next day and the next. Wish me luck.

Bulk Up That Lean Cuisine

That’s was good. Now what’s for lunch?

Don’t know about anyone else, but the Lean Cuisine’s are sometimes  just not  a satisfying amount of food.

Today I put the hot LC on top of a big bed of romaine lettuce – it was great!  The lettuce mixed well with the pasta, tomato sauce, and chicken (it was like “tomato basil chicken” or some such), and didn’t need any additional dressing…and there was just a lot more mouth-satisfying crunch and volume.

I’m going to do this again!  Anyone else have good ideas to bulk up the meal without bulking up the scale?

Civility

I just got scolded by a friend for being rude to a 3rd party.  I was rude. But this feels like when everyone is passing notes in class and the teacher ignores it until YOU have it…and then only YOU get punished.

I was rude to a rude person…where I’d turned the other cheek many, many times.  And of course in this exchange I look like the a-hole and she looked blameless and baffled at my reaction.  Poor innocent her.

I guess the lesson is, you never get to stop turning the other cheek….but then the rude people get what they want all the time.

can you only react to rudeness with more rudeness? but then where does it end? do things escalate until you’re living on the relationship version of the Gaza Strip? Is this the same lesson as the movie War Games — “the only wining solution is ….not to play”?

I dunno.  My inner 3-year-old is kicking her feet. It’s not fair. It’s not fair.

Day100: Weighing the Weighty Issues

So, 100 days ago, I said I would need to be -25lb or go talk to doctor about lapband.

I’ve only lost 7.5lb (with plenty of up and down in the middle), but I’m not ready to go to doctor….here’s why.

The good news is – I definitely stopped the +5-10lb PER MONTH thing that was going on….so that’s a win, cuz if that had kept going, I wouldn’t be down 7.5lb, I’d be up 20-40 lbs from where I was.

I also know where I’m not staying true to plan, and where little rationalizations get in the way.

I still believe I can do this, I just have to want it more than I want the comfort and pleasure of hedonistic eating. chomp chomp chomp.

I can do this.

Day99: 2 Miles in 99 degrees

It’s Super Hot!

I’ve been such a slacker as the thermometer has gone up, up, up.  But today I did 2 miles in the 99 degree heat.  Glad I did, but man it’s hot.

even at 7am, it was 85 degrees, so it would be cooler to go early, but not terribly so.

I miss 65-70 degrees….where did those lovely temps go?  Come back! Come back!

Meltingly yours…..

Day98: Have a nice salad

Just a quick post to say that yesterday even though I wanted a juicy burger, I had a nice salad with chicken and summer fruit. It was a good choice.

There’s one win.

Now repeat a zillion times, and I’m there.  🙂

Day97: Out of Body Stupidity

Do You Ever Find Yourself Watching Yourself Do Stupid Things?

Have you ever had that experience when you are watching yourself do something really stupid, but can’t make yourself stop?  Backing to a pole with your car.  Dropping a spoon in the garbage disposal.  Tripping over a rake you know is there.  It’s a weird feeling because you’re wise in your brain “oh do be careful there, old chum” but your brain seems unable to STOP you body from its course of action.

I’ve realized I’m that way about eating.  The brain say “oh, just a nibble will satisfy you” and the body says chomp. chomp. chomp. Suddenly the bag of chips or the pint of ice cream or the burrito as big as your head…are gone.

The body is like a 3 year old left with a gallon of pain…..not responsible for its own stupidity, but able to do a lot of damage in a short time.

Come back brain, I need you.

Day 96: Can’t Stomach the Lapband

100 Days are Almost Over

96 days ago I said if I didn’t lose 25 lbs in 100 days, I would look into lapband. But I am not prepared to do that.  I definitely didn’t lose the 25 lbs….but I just don’t want to make such a change to my “plumbing” – even though the band is less invasive than the bypass…I am not yet prepared to do it.

Honestly, I know I did not stay on program.  So, speaking only for myself, the “I tried” is not really true. well, I TRIED….but we all know what Yoda said about that.  There is no try. Do or do not.

I did not.

But I think I can — and I’d like to do it with the original factory parts.

Day95: Martha or Mary

Are You a Martha or a Mary

Interesting sermon today at church about Martha and Mary (Martha worked preparing a meal while Mary sat at Jesus feet. When Martha complained, Jesus admonished her saying Mary had the better part).

That particular story always bothered me. I mean I understand if Jesus is literally sitting in the living room, let’s now hangout in the kitchen. Sure. But sometime people seem to say “being a Martha” is the choice of being busy or being lazy, and that doesn’t seem right.

A line from today’s sermon made it make more sense to me. “Are we sometimes more concerned about serving than the one being served?”

That puts a different a spin on it… And speaking as a Martha, yup, sometimes I am focused on the task or the effort rather than the person for whom it is being prepared. Good reminder.

Day 94: Rats I Missed One!

Well pooh.  I was thinking I had posted yesterday and I hadn’t.  That’s the only trouble with trying to do something every day…the days tend to blend together.  I made it 92 days in a row.  Not bad.

I wish I had made it 92 days in a row “on program” — but I’ll take my discipline where I can find it.

I am almost at my self-imposed deadline of 100 days….where I wanted to be 25 lbs down.  I’m only about 5 down, and have lost and regained the next 2 lbs over and over the last month and a half.

I’m not ready to do the lapband thing. I want to do this with control and lifestyle change.

Maybe missing a day of blogging is a good reason to “start over” on the whole thing and try to focus first on the things I can control: drinking water and journaling.  for now, I’m not even that concerned if I eat too many points/calories…if I could get back in the habit of journaling, I think some of this would take care of itself.

Hope you’re all having a good weekend.